A man has been arrested for the crime of attempting to charge his iphone on a London Overground train. Forty Five year old Artist Robin Lee from Islington was informed that he was “abstracting” electricity illegally in what has to be the most ridiculous arrest of 2015 thus far. Mr Lee was was bundled, handcuffed, into a police van by no fewer than four officers after the incident was reported by a criminally over meticulous Community Support Officer.
The United Kingdom is rife with ludicrous, and some pretty hilarious, laws. Some of these you may well of broken so hang your head in shame you stone cold criminal. Suffice to say if you have ever been drunk in a pub, eaten a Polish potato or kept a pigsty in front of your house then you are in big trouble my friend. Here are just five British laws that are fairly baffling, but apparently completely enforceable:
- It is illegal to die in the houses of parliament. Whether of course you can help it or not apparently. The reasoning behind this is that the houses of parliament is technically a royal palace and a series of strange and archaic legal loopholes mean that if you should keel over in such a place then you are entitled to a state funeral. Apparently, even today, if you start to look a bit peaky in parliament you are escorted outside hastily. The question remains of course, how would the deceased scallywag ever be brought to justice?
- It is illegal to beat your rug or carpet. Although, thank God, it is still okay to shake your front door mat but only before 8am so make sure to set your alarm clock.
- A pregnant woman can legally urinate anywhere she wishes, including in a Policeman’s hat. I actually quite like this law actually and it is probably one of the only Olde England laws that entitle women to more rather than less freedom. However, this has actually caused something of an uproar amongst certain men’s rights activists over the year who see this law as infringement on mens liberties. I would advise such people to p*ss off.
- It is illegal, in Scotland, to deny somebody the use of your toilet should they knock on your door and require the use of it. This would be an absolute pain in the backside if this was actually put into practice with every Dougal, Fergus and Angus popping round to sit on your porcelain throne. However, this courtesy could be more down to the scandalous fact that even as recently as the 1970s, only one in four Scottish homes had a working indoor bathroom, meaning that a communal sense of toilet sharing would have made a lot of neighbourly sense.
- It is illegal to sing happy birthday in public. This is apparently genuine breach of copyright so next time you are celebrating a family birthday at a restaurant, make sure to check for any Bobby’s lurking about before you bring the cake out. The song, originally entitled “Good Morning to all” was composed by tuneful sisters Mildred and Patty Hill in 1868 and still remains pretty much the only birthday themed song around. The song was copyrighted in 1935 by Summy Company, and is now owned by Time Warner. This of course doesn’t stop us drunkenly belting out the song at every birthday celebration.